"We create our identities by meeting the expectations of friends, family, our colleagues. Our roles are endlessly complex, as daughter, writer, teacher, friend, and they are constantly recombining to give us a sense of ourselves as rich and complex. But despite these achievements, Batuman argues, American culture still views marriage as a woman’s ‘crowning success,’ revealing that ‘their carefully created and manicured identities were never the point.’ The problems that arise when we construct identity around talent and success deserve more attention, but the point here is that marriage itself is not the problem; treating marriage (any marriage, even a terrible one) as identity is."
He is altogether selfish, she thought in some surprise, the only man I have ever sat and talked to alone, and I am impatient; he is simply not very interesting. “Why don’t you grow up by yourself?” she asked him, and wondered how many people—how many women—had already asked him that.
“You’re clever.” And how many times had he answered that way?
This conversation must be largely instinctive, she thought with amusement, and said gently, “You must be a very lonely person.” All I want is to be cherished, she thought, and here I am talking gibberish with a selfish man.
Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House. Eleanorrrrrrrrrr. (via doskapozora)
Cool how Shirley Jackson knew everything
|—||Gertrude Stein, from Tender Buttons (via pablo-neurotic)|
"In an episode of the Sunday morning cartoon Roadrunner and Coyote, the eternally hopeful predator makes a trap for the bird. At the point where a road ends in a precipice, he places a canvas on which he paints an extension of the road, complete with the red cliff on one side and the guard rail on the other. The roadrunner neither smashed into the painting nor fell through it, but ran into it and vanished around the painted bend. When the coyote attempted to follow him, he broke through the painting, plummeted, was smashed up, and then, yet again, as always, he was resurrected. Your door is my wall; your wall is my door.”
"This warm-hearted graphic novel about Jewish immigrants in turn-of-the-century New York is impossibly winning and will also make you want a bialy. Finck adapts a series of interwoven narratives from a real-life advice column that ran in the Yiddish newspaper The Forward over a hundred years ago. Most of the letter-writers’ problems stem from their transitory position between the Old Country and the new. A cantor confesses he’s lost his faith; a woman suspects that her neighbor has stolen the watch that her family pawns for food during lean times; a young newlywed fears that she’s a bad person for feeling less than grateful when her unorganized community presents her and her new husband with 52 down pillows and 38 lamps.”
- Recommending Liana Finck’s “A Bintel Brief” and other must-reads: "Hit the Books: Five Feminist Novels to Read Posthaste"
"Khaleesi Says" by Leah Umansky
Game of Thrones
yeah this guy totes could trick me into giving up my cheese
Here’s your prize. It’s for being nice. Wouldn’t wanna stop getting those prizes now would you.
"Rory generally operates in what Adelle Waldman calls a closed-feedback loop, in which her family, friends, teachers, fellow students and random townspeople affirm her goodness on a daily basis. Nothing in Rory’s life has prepared her for recrimination, so of course it’s devastating when she has to face with it.
And that’s exactly how the good girl trap works. Patriarchal, capitalist cultures reward girls for being sweet, self-deprecating and selfless because these qualities seem to make them less likely to challenge the status quo. Meanwhile, the rewards themselves teach girls to base their sense of self-worth on outside affirmation. When they fail maintain the impossible standards they’re supposed to live up to, good girls spiral into self-doubt. In The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel Simmons describes one such instance: ‘Her self-esteem perilously balanced on her excellence, she could only interpret failure as catastrophic … Her unreasonable expectations kept her shackled to failure, preventing her from shaking off a mistake and moving forward quickly.’
This is one way to limit the range of possibilities women can imagine for themselves. It’s how Rory, operating within a white, well-off milieu, winds up emulating her grandmother when she loses sight of her own goals, wearing tiny suits and joining the Daughters of the American Revolution.”
If you’re working as a writer, working is a kind of play. I feel like, if all day long you’re just applying yourself to what you’re most genuinely curious about or most excited about—if you do that all the time, work will emerge.
1. Grab leftover bunch of kale that is one fridge door-swing away from going the way of the triceratops (leathery; extinct).
2. Wash it in a previously used colander that the person with whom you cohabitate has left out on the counter.
3. Dry the kale with a paper towel or a kitchen towel or a pretty clean-looking thrifted skirt, no cares-ies.
4. Pour some oil of whatever questionable provenance in a pan.
5. Heat up the pan.
6. Cook the kale till it wilts like your self-confidence in the face of close scrutiny from your favorite college professor.
7. Crack two eggs into this business.
8. Scramble ‘em up. Are there shells in your scramble? Fish them out with your finger. Then burn your finger, run it under cold water for a minute only to realize that now you have also ruined your eggs. JK, ROOKIE MISTAKE. Just leave the eggshells wheresoever they may fall, for texture.
9. Add salt and pepper to taste. If you are out of regular-sized sea salt, crack open the kosher salt you bought in a haze of delusional, lifestyle blog-inspired determination to make lavender-ricotta ice cream.
10. Consume while reading Storify summary of petty Twitter fight.
"It was good to be greeted, to be embraced. I’ve missed you, Alastair once said, and my heart jumped at the pleasure of existing in someone else’s life."
even bad poems aren’t bad poems
Since July 17th there has been five reported occurrences exemplifying the police and American justice system’s lack of reverence for Black life. These are the five stories that were able to attract at least minimal attention. Who knows what is going on out there covered up (like the Ferguson police is trying to do with Mike Brown’s murder), unrecorded, and unknown. In the past 23 days the police have perpetrated the humiliation, degradation, and murdering of Black dignity,souls, and people. Knowledge is power. Do not rely on mainstream media to give you the full/accurate story. They will always be complicit in the devaluing of Black life because Blackness has been criminalized in America. Please spread these stories and add any more that you know of under the hashtag #badges are the new hoods. We need to start documenting, and spreading information. They will try to silence us as they did to Ramsey Orta, and Alba Lekaj, the people who filmed the NYPD harasing and murdering Eric Garner. But united we can make a difference. Knowledge is power. Stay woke Black America, Stay woke.
this happened in the past 23 days